Orange Monsters

Last year Amazon sold orange monsters for Halloween. They were chubby little things that you soaked in water first and grew to be about three feet tall. They had eyes like saucers, sharp angled teeth, and a crown of baby pumpkins growing out of their heads. The neighbors all bought one for their front porches, in fact, our street had a whole army of orange monsters. They were handy too because they kept the kids in line, like when they passed out candy they made sure everyone shouted trick or treat first. They also scared kids when it was appropriate and took notes on costumes so that nobody could come back for seconds. And we were happy because we got to relax - you know, really enjoy Halloween.

But there was trouble when the trick or treating ended. The monsters started gathering in the streets and packs of them began egging cars, toilet papering houses, and stuffing leaves into unlocked cars. Some threw pumpkins into the alleys and then took to jumping on roofs. The news said it was because of a contract dispute, but we really don’t know why they did it.

Anyway, it ended when the fire department arrived with these whopping vats of boiling water and one by one as they caught the monsters they threw them into the fiery liquid where they growled into piles of pumpkin froth. We sprinkled cinnamon and nutmeg on cupfuls of it and drank it later that night as we sat around telling ghost stories and agreed that it was the best latte we ever had.

From Autumn Poetry: A Collection for the Season

Available on Amazon